Here is an incident that i suddenly recalled today. Dont know why but it was so funny that its worth sharing.

During my graduation period I used to live with three friends - M, S, and R. M and S were more street smart compared to R, which in most of the cases let to a very hard time for R.

All four of us shared a kitchen and there used to be a maid that used to cook for us. One fine day she informed us that she would not be coming for the next two days due to some personal reason. Day 1 of her leave, I and M cooked food as S was good only for cutting vegetables and R was good only for washing utensils.

Since we didn’t want to cook again on day 2 we decided to bring some food home. So we used Gits packet to cook ‘Rabri’ and bought Patties from shop for dinner that day. Once we were through with dinner there were still 3 patties left which we decided to store for the next day. Now we were poor students and didn’t had the luxury of refrigerator, hence we decided to put them in a container and keep it floated in a pan full of water to keep it cool. (I don’t remember now who came up with this brilliant idea).

Now as it usually happens with maids, our maid did not turn up next morning at the scheduled time. M, S and myself were pretty used to staying hungry if the situation so demands but R was not used to it. By afternoon, we could hear his stomach rumbling. He came to our room and was sitting around, looking very hungry and uncomfortable. Here is the dialogue that happened then:

R: You guys feeling hungry?
Me & M: No. Not at all ( and continued reading)
R: Guys do something. We should eat.
Me: Don’t want to. U eat if you want.
R: (Roaming around uncomfortably) lets cook something.
Me: I don’t want to cook. I wont cook. If you are hungry then you cook.
R: I don’t know how to. You know that.
Me: Try or suffer. No sympathy from me. We are comfortable as we are.(Continue reading)

(After sometime)

R: Hey aren’t there some patties left?
M: Ya. There are 3. You can have them if you want.
R: (Highly suspicious) Why? You guys not having any
Me: No. Not sure if they are fine or not. Those patties were stuffed with potatoes so not sure whether they are good to eat. They might have spoiled in this heat.
R: (Goes and checks them) They appear to be OK
Me: Fine. Eat them.
R: (Hungry. Very Hungry but don’t know what to do. “to eat or not to eat is the question”). Lets share.
Me: Don’t want to. You eat if you are willing to risk it.

(R spends next 15 min trying to figure out if they were OK to eat or not and we were not willing to help him in any way)

R: Hey Ashish. Lets share them one each.
Me: (finally sick of this whole back and forth dialogue) Look dude. Here’s the deal. You take the risk and eat as many as you want or I take the risk and eat all three. Your choice.
R: But why cant both of us eats?
Me: Because here is a situation in which the risk cannot be minimized by sharing. No use both of us falling sick at the same time. So the good idea is either you fall sick or I do. You choose.

(Another 15 min of deliberation followed by more discussion, and M enjoying himself at my leisure, R finally decides to eat the patties himself. He end up eating 2 of the 3 patties. We let him and continue our surfing through some adult magazines.)

Lo. Behold! As soon as R finishes the patties (Somewhere around 2.30 PM) our maid makes an entry into our humble adobe to cook the evening meal.

Maid: (Looking at the remaining patties) Aye Bhai. Should I throw this patties out? Its all spoiled.

(You guys can imagine the look on R’s face. HE HAD JUST CONSUMED TWO OF THOSE)

R: (Fanatically) What do I do? What do I do?
Us(still relaxed): Nothing. Wait for feed poisoning to set in?
R: Food poisoning!! What do I do?
Me: Wait for half hour. That’s when the food will be absorbed by the intestines and will enter your system. I would give you about 1 hour before you start feeling sick. (The knowledgeable me!!)
R: Sick. As in how sick?
Me: Depends on the infection. Cant say for sure.
M(catching on and extrapolating): Food poisoning usually leads to vomiting, loose motion and dehydration. Can end up in hospitalization for a couple of days or worse.

(R was really sweating now. In the meantime S also made and entry into the situation and we briefed him on the situation. He is smarter than both of us combined, so here goes his conversation)

S: How long since you have eaten those patties?
R: 35 min
S: Too bad. You could have tried vomiting to clean your stomach. Now its late and they must be getting absorbed in your system.
R: What do I do?
S: Do you feel faint?
R(thinking): I think so
S: Uneasiness in stomach
R: Ya. I can feel that
S: Dizzy feeling. Uncomfortable.
R(Fully convinced): Ya. Ya
S: Then you are going the food poisoning way. Sorry

(R is now fanatic and wants us to help in any way possible)

R: What do I do? What do I do guys?
Me: (Thinking aloud). You know, you can build your body resistance through vitamin C. Why don’t you have some ‘Neebu paani’? probably that might help.
R: (Running to kitchen) Where are the lemons?
M: Finished. No more in the kitchen. You will have to go and buy them.
R. Where from?
M: Go to Phoolbaag (That was 2 km away…and we are talking about mid summer in gwalior – 48 degree centigrade.)
S: Also I think it would be a good idea to buy some apples. Apples are good for health.

R rushes out and walks the whole distance to bring lemons and apples. He did all the work and then maid prepared nice ‘Neeu paani’ which we all had followed by some apples.

Needless to say R did not suffer any after affects of having the spoiled patties. But it was an entertaining 4 hours that we spend.

I still remember a statement that S made to M and myself after this “ If I would have told R that eating a dog’s potty would have cured him, I am sure he would have done that too at that point of time. Damn! I missed my chance.”

The High’s of Life…………..

There are moments that are frozen in time for each one of us and are very personal. Yesterday, while I was traveling back from the office, I started thinking about such moments in my life. Frankly, I was not even looking at moments; I was looking for those memories in which I had the feeling of exhilaration. It was a surprise for me to note that in most of these memories, I was not in as a ‘doer’, which for me would mean the center of the universe, but as observer, listener or just a participant.

…..when the sweat pours

Scientifically, it’s the adrenaline that gives you a feeling of high when you are involved in a physical activity. That’s too cut and dried for me and for anyone who is into sports. I have played all my life, and have tried my hands in all sorts of games. I am no expert in any of them, probably because there was never an intention of playing anything professionally. The fun is in matching your skills and strength against a better player, fun is in fighting to reach each stroke, fun is in fighting for one more point and fun is in knowing how much your own body is capable of achieving. The exhilaration is in knowing that you have beaten a better person fair and square or in the knowledge that a worthy opponent beat you. At times, and even in my dark moods, this feeling goes to the extent of saying “Even if death comes to take me away, it will have to pay a heavy price before it can take me”

…….when things cant go any worse

I am probably at my best when the situations are at their worst. There was a time in my third job when I was handling 12 projects as against 4, which was the industrial norm. Being immodest, I can easily say that I was proud of myself. I have never ever seen myself giving orders or taking decisions so fast. And not one project got delayed or went wrong.

Feeling of being alive comes to you when you are still standing even after receiving severe beating during ragging, when you get a full square meal after 3 days, when you don’t have light in your house and you are creating engineering drawing sheets by holding torch in your mouth, when you have worked for 24 hours straight in 45degreeC and can count each muscle of your body.

For those of you who have gone through similar experience would probably now what I am talking about and can add to this list in their own sphere. Bottom line being, its your attitude that gives to a high, even in such crappy situations

………..when the air is still.

Me and my wife have become an expert in off-season vacations. We would visit beaches in monsoon, hill station in winters or dry areas in summers. Any how we enjoy!! It is great to lie in the sea when you have clouds and rain and not a soul in sight, to travel through the fog when there is stillness around and you don’t know where the earth ends.

You don’t need a nice place to enjoy this stillness, its only the select company of few that matter. Sitting on the terrace with a glass of rum and a couple of friends and looking at the lights of the city as they go out one by one is also fun. Or taking a walk at 3 AM in a small town when even dogs refuse to bark at you is great.

We live with too much noise. Make a rendezvous with silence and get a high from the dreams that it gives you.

………..when there is laughter around

Some of my friends, MD/NS/MJ/SJ are great storytellers. They have a knack of narrating incidences of their life in such a manner that we usually end up rolling with laughter. I think my four years of engineering in a city like Gwalior became bearable only because of these guys. We could laugh in all the situations, the best or the worst, and no one was spared at any point of time. Laughter could be directed towards a person or a situation a person is in, without any malice.

You should see how my wife and her friend R laugh when they are together. I wait for a sentence that ends without laughing. Its best not to disturb them at that time, for then the attack will be on you and there is no defense possible.



Frankly the list for me could go on. This is probably the only thing that I don’t understand about people in general. How can you be low in life? There is no situation in which you cannot but be glad that you are alive, that you feel the sun on your face and winds in your hair. How can you not exist is a state of continuous high all your life. Happiness is constant, unhappiness is temporary.

Know More Quiz

- Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
Race (good one....though nearly at the half time, I had to turn to my wife and ask "Do you remember who is with who?"

- What Book Are You Reading:
Re-reading Devil's alternative. Not many good fiction in market now.

- Favorite Board Game:
scrabble - I get to beat my wife in every game (Kahi to jeetna chaiyae.....)

- Favorite Magazine:
Reader's Digest ....though it has gone a bit dull lately

- Favorite Smells:
Smell of first rain....

- Favorite Sound:
Sea breaking on the rocks

- Worst Feeling In The World:
Pity

- What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake?:
Potty

- Favorite Fast Food Place:
Momos at Channakya, New Delhi, or Shashi ke parathae (No longer available)

- Future Child's Name:
Jab sar pe padegi to sochangae

- If I Had A Lot Of Money I'd...:
Travel, read, loaf around

- Do You Drive Fast?
When I can....not very often though

- Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?
nopes -

- Storms-Cool Or Scary?:
Didn't get this one

- What Was Your First Car?
Maruti - Wagon R

- Favorite Drink:
Neebu paani (Extra sweet)

- If I Had The Time I Would .....:
gym, read, chat with my daughter

- Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?
never tried

- If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice?
I would wish for hair first....

- Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In:
bhopal, gwalior, kanpur, ajmer, delhi, indore, banglaore, bhubneshwar, and mumbai

- Favorite Sports To Watch:
none really....can live with cricket though

- One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
kisi ne bheja nahi....but jahan se copy kiya hai woh jaan hai

- What's Under Your Bed?
never really looked.

- Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
no harm's done in that.

- Morning Person Or Night Owl?
Morning

- Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?
Easy

- Favorite Place To Relax:
Beach, mountain anything....even my bean bag will do. The important word here is relax

- Favorite Pie:
not really tried many.....and if did, dont remember the taste

- Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
Butterscotch

- You pass this tag to :
No one....any one can pick it up though

Of All The People You Tagged, Who's Most Likely To Respond First?
No clue