More than one night at the call center

All this started around a month and a half back. The objective was to revamp our call center and as the boss says ‘take it to the next level’. Well, the efforts are still on and show promise but that’s not what I want to talk about in this blog.

I want to talk about this special breed of people called call center agents, who work here driving sales. There are mixed feelings associated with this breed that I want to highlight here.

Points of admiration:

1. Try working from 11 PM to 8 AM each day for the last two and half years, five days a week and I can bet that 60% of your admiration will build on that itself. I have done the same while I was working in a production company, but I did it only for 5 months and there was not much of a sales pressure then. I had time to read during the shift, so it was fine. But looking at these guys……on and on, month on month, pressure on pressure. I am not sure the guys you were giving them targets had ever done this themselves and got the same numbers.

2. Most of the guys/ gals that work here are attending collage for their graduation or PG courses. This means that they leave office at 9 AM and then go for their classes (sleep) and then sleep (go to classes). This dedication in commendable.

3. They are a smart breed. Trust them to find a loophole in the system, no matter how much, we as management, try to make it foolproof. Though, at this point of time, I don’t know whether its their smartness or whether it the basic Indian psyche that makes us want to find ways that give us unearned rewards.

Points of despise:

1. They have negligible social life. Most of them have no hobby and no time even to sit back and do what anything that is termed as leisure. They are definitely running for money ( as they love their incentive more than their salary) but at the end of the day, is it worth it?

2. They have a very narrow vision. They can’t think beyond here and now. They are attending collages because that is what the social norms in India require them to do. Had it been US where passing school is considered more than enough, these guys would have left education long time back. On top of that, they are happy attending non-reputed institutes, as attendance in them is not a major concern and hence it doesn’t interfere with their work schedule.

3. Money is the only thing that most of them look forward to. I have met many agents who want to remain agents just because they earn more than most of the managers. I cant understand why they don’t want to rise in the organization. Why they choose stagnation viz a viz the opportunities that will come with promotion (even at a lesser immediate financial gain)

The rise of call centers and IT in India has definitely increase the middle class segment. But looking at these kids, it made me wonder if this was really the correct path that we have chosen. None of them are physically fit and will continue to deteriorate if they maintain the life that they are leading now. None of them are intellectually growing. They have money to spend now but I am not so sure whether they value the money that they have earned or how to use the money they have earned for their own betterment.

I remember speaking to one of the floor managers recently. He was 23 and has been working for the last 5 years as agent. He is proud of owning a car at the age of 21 and of his new 20K watch that he as just purchased. He want to continue the way things are going now, his correspondent MBA degree which is as valuable as the paper its printed upon, his bulging belly, his US accent and his incentives.

Where did we go wrong??

Here is an incident that i suddenly recalled today. Dont know why but it was so funny that its worth sharing.

During my graduation period I used to live with three friends - M, S, and R. M and S were more street smart compared to R, which in most of the cases let to a very hard time for R.

All four of us shared a kitchen and there used to be a maid that used to cook for us. One fine day she informed us that she would not be coming for the next two days due to some personal reason. Day 1 of her leave, I and M cooked food as S was good only for cutting vegetables and R was good only for washing utensils.

Since we didn’t want to cook again on day 2 we decided to bring some food home. So we used Gits packet to cook ‘Rabri’ and bought Patties from shop for dinner that day. Once we were through with dinner there were still 3 patties left which we decided to store for the next day. Now we were poor students and didn’t had the luxury of refrigerator, hence we decided to put them in a container and keep it floated in a pan full of water to keep it cool. (I don’t remember now who came up with this brilliant idea).

Now as it usually happens with maids, our maid did not turn up next morning at the scheduled time. M, S and myself were pretty used to staying hungry if the situation so demands but R was not used to it. By afternoon, we could hear his stomach rumbling. He came to our room and was sitting around, looking very hungry and uncomfortable. Here is the dialogue that happened then:

R: You guys feeling hungry?
Me & M: No. Not at all ( and continued reading)
R: Guys do something. We should eat.
Me: Don’t want to. U eat if you want.
R: (Roaming around uncomfortably) lets cook something.
Me: I don’t want to cook. I wont cook. If you are hungry then you cook.
R: I don’t know how to. You know that.
Me: Try or suffer. No sympathy from me. We are comfortable as we are.(Continue reading)

(After sometime)

R: Hey aren’t there some patties left?
M: Ya. There are 3. You can have them if you want.
R: (Highly suspicious) Why? You guys not having any
Me: No. Not sure if they are fine or not. Those patties were stuffed with potatoes so not sure whether they are good to eat. They might have spoiled in this heat.
R: (Goes and checks them) They appear to be OK
Me: Fine. Eat them.
R: (Hungry. Very Hungry but don’t know what to do. “to eat or not to eat is the question”). Lets share.
Me: Don’t want to. You eat if you are willing to risk it.

(R spends next 15 min trying to figure out if they were OK to eat or not and we were not willing to help him in any way)

R: Hey Ashish. Lets share them one each.
Me: (finally sick of this whole back and forth dialogue) Look dude. Here’s the deal. You take the risk and eat as many as you want or I take the risk and eat all three. Your choice.
R: But why cant both of us eats?
Me: Because here is a situation in which the risk cannot be minimized by sharing. No use both of us falling sick at the same time. So the good idea is either you fall sick or I do. You choose.

(Another 15 min of deliberation followed by more discussion, and M enjoying himself at my leisure, R finally decides to eat the patties himself. He end up eating 2 of the 3 patties. We let him and continue our surfing through some adult magazines.)

Lo. Behold! As soon as R finishes the patties (Somewhere around 2.30 PM) our maid makes an entry into our humble adobe to cook the evening meal.

Maid: (Looking at the remaining patties) Aye Bhai. Should I throw this patties out? Its all spoiled.

(You guys can imagine the look on R’s face. HE HAD JUST CONSUMED TWO OF THOSE)

R: (Fanatically) What do I do? What do I do?
Us(still relaxed): Nothing. Wait for feed poisoning to set in?
R: Food poisoning!! What do I do?
Me: Wait for half hour. That’s when the food will be absorbed by the intestines and will enter your system. I would give you about 1 hour before you start feeling sick. (The knowledgeable me!!)
R: Sick. As in how sick?
Me: Depends on the infection. Cant say for sure.
M(catching on and extrapolating): Food poisoning usually leads to vomiting, loose motion and dehydration. Can end up in hospitalization for a couple of days or worse.

(R was really sweating now. In the meantime S also made and entry into the situation and we briefed him on the situation. He is smarter than both of us combined, so here goes his conversation)

S: How long since you have eaten those patties?
R: 35 min
S: Too bad. You could have tried vomiting to clean your stomach. Now its late and they must be getting absorbed in your system.
R: What do I do?
S: Do you feel faint?
R(thinking): I think so
S: Uneasiness in stomach
R: Ya. I can feel that
S: Dizzy feeling. Uncomfortable.
R(Fully convinced): Ya. Ya
S: Then you are going the food poisoning way. Sorry

(R is now fanatic and wants us to help in any way possible)

R: What do I do? What do I do guys?
Me: (Thinking aloud). You know, you can build your body resistance through vitamin C. Why don’t you have some ‘Neebu paani’? probably that might help.
R: (Running to kitchen) Where are the lemons?
M: Finished. No more in the kitchen. You will have to go and buy them.
R. Where from?
M: Go to Phoolbaag (That was 2 km away…and we are talking about mid summer in gwalior – 48 degree centigrade.)
S: Also I think it would be a good idea to buy some apples. Apples are good for health.

R rushes out and walks the whole distance to bring lemons and apples. He did all the work and then maid prepared nice ‘Neeu paani’ which we all had followed by some apples.

Needless to say R did not suffer any after affects of having the spoiled patties. But it was an entertaining 4 hours that we spend.

I still remember a statement that S made to M and myself after this “ If I would have told R that eating a dog’s potty would have cured him, I am sure he would have done that too at that point of time. Damn! I missed my chance.”

The High’s of Life…………..

There are moments that are frozen in time for each one of us and are very personal. Yesterday, while I was traveling back from the office, I started thinking about such moments in my life. Frankly, I was not even looking at moments; I was looking for those memories in which I had the feeling of exhilaration. It was a surprise for me to note that in most of these memories, I was not in as a ‘doer’, which for me would mean the center of the universe, but as observer, listener or just a participant.

…..when the sweat pours

Scientifically, it’s the adrenaline that gives you a feeling of high when you are involved in a physical activity. That’s too cut and dried for me and for anyone who is into sports. I have played all my life, and have tried my hands in all sorts of games. I am no expert in any of them, probably because there was never an intention of playing anything professionally. The fun is in matching your skills and strength against a better player, fun is in fighting to reach each stroke, fun is in fighting for one more point and fun is in knowing how much your own body is capable of achieving. The exhilaration is in knowing that you have beaten a better person fair and square or in the knowledge that a worthy opponent beat you. At times, and even in my dark moods, this feeling goes to the extent of saying “Even if death comes to take me away, it will have to pay a heavy price before it can take me”

…….when things cant go any worse

I am probably at my best when the situations are at their worst. There was a time in my third job when I was handling 12 projects as against 4, which was the industrial norm. Being immodest, I can easily say that I was proud of myself. I have never ever seen myself giving orders or taking decisions so fast. And not one project got delayed or went wrong.

Feeling of being alive comes to you when you are still standing even after receiving severe beating during ragging, when you get a full square meal after 3 days, when you don’t have light in your house and you are creating engineering drawing sheets by holding torch in your mouth, when you have worked for 24 hours straight in 45degreeC and can count each muscle of your body.

For those of you who have gone through similar experience would probably now what I am talking about and can add to this list in their own sphere. Bottom line being, its your attitude that gives to a high, even in such crappy situations

………..when the air is still.

Me and my wife have become an expert in off-season vacations. We would visit beaches in monsoon, hill station in winters or dry areas in summers. Any how we enjoy!! It is great to lie in the sea when you have clouds and rain and not a soul in sight, to travel through the fog when there is stillness around and you don’t know where the earth ends.

You don’t need a nice place to enjoy this stillness, its only the select company of few that matter. Sitting on the terrace with a glass of rum and a couple of friends and looking at the lights of the city as they go out one by one is also fun. Or taking a walk at 3 AM in a small town when even dogs refuse to bark at you is great.

We live with too much noise. Make a rendezvous with silence and get a high from the dreams that it gives you.

………..when there is laughter around

Some of my friends, MD/NS/MJ/SJ are great storytellers. They have a knack of narrating incidences of their life in such a manner that we usually end up rolling with laughter. I think my four years of engineering in a city like Gwalior became bearable only because of these guys. We could laugh in all the situations, the best or the worst, and no one was spared at any point of time. Laughter could be directed towards a person or a situation a person is in, without any malice.

You should see how my wife and her friend R laugh when they are together. I wait for a sentence that ends without laughing. Its best not to disturb them at that time, for then the attack will be on you and there is no defense possible.



Frankly the list for me could go on. This is probably the only thing that I don’t understand about people in general. How can you be low in life? There is no situation in which you cannot but be glad that you are alive, that you feel the sun on your face and winds in your hair. How can you not exist is a state of continuous high all your life. Happiness is constant, unhappiness is temporary.

Know More Quiz

- Last Movie You Saw In A Theater:
Race (good one....though nearly at the half time, I had to turn to my wife and ask "Do you remember who is with who?"

- What Book Are You Reading:
Re-reading Devil's alternative. Not many good fiction in market now.

- Favorite Board Game:
scrabble - I get to beat my wife in every game (Kahi to jeetna chaiyae.....)

- Favorite Magazine:
Reader's Digest ....though it has gone a bit dull lately

- Favorite Smells:
Smell of first rain....

- Favorite Sound:
Sea breaking on the rocks

- Worst Feeling In The World:
Pity

- What Is The First Thing You Think Of When You Wake?:
Potty

- Favorite Fast Food Place:
Momos at Channakya, New Delhi, or Shashi ke parathae (No longer available)

- Future Child's Name:
Jab sar pe padegi to sochangae

- If I Had A Lot Of Money I'd...:
Travel, read, loaf around

- Do You Drive Fast?
When I can....not very often though

- Do You Sleep With A Stuffed Animal?
nopes -

- Storms-Cool Or Scary?:
Didn't get this one

- What Was Your First Car?
Maruti - Wagon R

- Favorite Drink:
Neebu paani (Extra sweet)

- If I Had The Time I Would .....:
gym, read, chat with my daughter

- Do You Eat The Stems On Broccoli?
never tried

- If You Could Dye Your Hair Any Color, What Would Be Your Choice?
I would wish for hair first....

- Name All The Different Cities/Towns You Have Lived In:
bhopal, gwalior, kanpur, ajmer, delhi, indore, banglaore, bhubneshwar, and mumbai

- Favorite Sports To Watch:
none really....can live with cricket though

- One Nice Thing About The Person Who Sent This To You:
kisi ne bheja nahi....but jahan se copy kiya hai woh jaan hai

- What's Under Your Bed?
never really looked.

- Would You Like To Be Born As Yourself Again?
no harm's done in that.

- Morning Person Or Night Owl?
Morning

- Over Easy Or Sunny Side Up?
Easy

- Favorite Place To Relax:
Beach, mountain anything....even my bean bag will do. The important word here is relax

- Favorite Pie:
not really tried many.....and if did, dont remember the taste

- Favorite Ice Cream Flavor:
Butterscotch

- You pass this tag to :
No one....any one can pick it up though

Of All The People You Tagged, Who's Most Likely To Respond First?
No clue

In Scent of a Women

Here is a conversation that has happened a couple of times between me and my wife, and has let to this blog:

"W: So name a female around you that you fine attractive, and why?"
"Me: Is this a trick question?"
"W: No of course not. Just a genuine question"
"Me: Office? On-route or neighborhood?"
"W: Anywhere"
"Me: Then it’s easy. U!"
"W: Dog! Give me a name other than me."

Now here is a real problem situation. Husbands know why..... but then I seriously thought about this and came up with black. Seeing this blank look on my face, she said

“W: whats the matter? Come up with one name.”
“Me: Cant think of one.”
“W: Ok name one Bollywood heroine whom you find physically attractive”
“Me: (After a long time) Still cant think of one. Even in ragging, this question came quiet often but then I named Raveena Tondon and maintained this for full 2 years, though I didn’t really like her. Sonali bandre had better looking legs but that’s it. None in this era”
“W: Are you Gay or something”
“Me: Of course not. I am just choosy or have quite high standards. Ok u name one”
W: Kareena. She has such a nice body. I wish I have the same.”
“Me: Not my first choice…..but what I meant was the best looking Guy”
“W: Hritik….who else? See its so easy, so I think that you are gay”

Now I am pretty sure that I am not gay. But honest to god I couldn’t come up with a name. Not Indian that is.

“Me: OK Ok…look I don’t know the name but this lead actress in the Movie – The last Samurai”
“W: Chinkys are not allowed. They always look so good and have unmatched body”
“Me: That’s not why I like this female….but to humor you…..ok here is another name….the lead vampire in the movie – Underworld”
“W: Goori mems are not allowed. Koi desi nahi hai kya.”
“Me: nahi....... I mean not as per my standards.”
“W: Mere se shaadi kyon ki…. Koi goori le aate”
“Me: Hey with you it was complete package....... and it is great.”

But seriously, the other day we had the winners of Famina miss India (All three) at our office. Now they are supposed to be the creamy layer but one look at them and you seriously wonder why they are there. All three were tall and reached my eye level (Which is tall by Indian standards) but beautiful, desirable, even good looking……..a thousand times NO.

Beauty is a package, even physical beauty is made up of not only your body but also skin quality and color, hair quality, body proportions, movements everything. Perfection for me will be in the manner these different aspects come together in a person and create a whole. That is what I mean by a package.

Once I went to a very hi-fi disc. Wherever you look, you had show of skin and clothes. I went around to get a couple of drinks and it was a good thing that I marked my groups spot by the pillars and furniture rather than girls. They all looked so same. Same black and white combo, same make up style, same straightened hair, same dance moves. If I were in a lineup with 10 such beauties that I would not have been able to point out to the culprit…..they were alike.

Today girls go for what is popular, what is the ‘in thing’: drumstick thinness, straight hair, hair color, streaks, short top, low waist jeans, tattoo….. the list is too huge. At the end what you are left is a assembly product. “Customer can have car in any color as long as its black” was a famous statement.

My office is probably 50% female, and at the end of day if you ask me to remember even one female, I would probable stand scratching my head. I miss that variety……. Commercialization has killed it all, and I am friend and in love those who have remained untouched by it.

Writer's Block

I am suffering from Writer’s block. I always used to think that writer’s block is when a writer doesn’t have an idea on what to write. In my case, its more like, what all to write. Whenever I open the site and start writing, so many thoughts and threads emerge that I have no clue which to pick. Being meticulous, I start thinking on the structure of the blog and find out that all the threads are so interlinked that its difficult to structure it and concentrate on just one line of though.

This made me think of my varied experiences w.r.t writing, be it letters, exams, application forms, creative writing etc. Some of them are below:

Case 1: Letter writing
I have a good friend with whom I am not in touch with him for nearly 2 years now but that friendship, or the feeling of it is still there. He was with me in Kanpur and introduced me to antiquate of drinking, singing, holding a party and writing. One day he asked me to post for him a bulky envelope that required postage stamps of Rs 20/-. I asked him what it was….probably some legal documents. It was his weekly letter to his father.

“Me: WEEKLY LETTER !! what the hell you have written?”
“P: O! Nothing great….just how was my time at the job, at hostel, with you guys etc”
“Me: How many pages?”
“P: 23 in all, A4 both sides”
“Me: Shit!!”

I later learned that his father considered P as a serious disappointment when it came to writing. “ he thinks that I don’t write enough….don’t know how to express my experiences in words” P later told me.

I later had a chance to go through one of his father’s letter….. only partly. It was describing his recent journey to some tour in the interior part of the state. The letter started with how his morning was on the day of travel, what was his mode of transport, what were his feeling for the rick driver that delivered him to station, his conversations, and his reflection on the same, with his fellow unknown travelers in the train …….. and on and on. That 2 day journey covered some 40+ pages. And it was not just description of incidents, it contained quotes, reference of articles, philosophy…..everything.

Now that’s one way of writing. Good in a way that a person is aware of his thought process and is also able to pen down the same at the end of two days. Bad in the form that it does not allow or restricts, the reader to form his own opinions or reflect on it. There is little scope left for imagination of reader or interpretation.

Case 2: Exam writing.

All of you have gone through the same. How to handle writing in exams was most hilariously handled by my friend M.
Now M is a multi-talented person. His idea of going to an exam was always to carry a chit with him (for cheating purpose). His talent was of writing on a chit, of size 1sq inch, complete answers of at least 5 questions. The answers to each question, when expanded to a normal answering sheet, could be expanded to 15 sheets. Moreover, the chit was folded in such a way that he could cover it under his first tow fingers and both sides of the paper could be flipped without lifting the fingers. In school, he could carry a 500 word essay written on his eraser.

I remember an incident in which we got a very tough paper in 3rd year. This guy got the highest marks in the paper. When we inquired on how he managed to attain this feat, his reply was

“ M: How is the paper evaluation done. Do you know that?”
“ We: Ya! The number of sheets that you fill, one supplementary sheet addition is a must”
“M: Rt. In this paper I added 4 supp. Sheets”
“We: How did u manage that. It was hard for us even to fill in the main sheet”
“M: Easy. I consistently managed to write just 4 words per line, by drawing a margin line on both sides of the sheet and then expanding each word in length”
“We: But still……how 4 supp. There was not much to write. Not even the text book had this much content”
“M: Ya rt. For example my answer to Q2, despite expansion, was covered in 3 pages. All that I did was, repeated what I had written in those three pages 4 times back to back. Got 19 out of 20 in that question. See how much our evaluators read??”

You cant help but admire this intelligence of exploiting the system and at the same time cry for the system.

Case 3: Creative writing

What is this. Here is an example.

In schools, primarily in missionary schools, you have a subject called ‘Moral Science’. Every student dreads this subject….. Imagine 50 rowdy boys sitting in a class trying to learn morals. And to top it up, you have to give an exam on the same. And there were actually books on the subject. Phew!!

So, here we are about to give an exam on the same (Which you have to pass…else you cant be promoted to the next class….even if you pass in all the other subjects).

Then there was this Bong guy in the class who was all cool about the paper. So we voiced our concerns and he said

“B: Chill man….whats to worry about. Its no big deal”
“Me: No big deal. You know the stakes.”
“B: Ya! Don’t worry. You know how you can pass on this paper?”
“Me: How?”
“B: Simple. When you answer the paper. Write everything that you would not be doing ever in your life. That is Moral Science”

WORDS OF WISDOM. So precisely and concisely explained. This is what I like about some people. Clarity of thought.

Needless to say, I always passed with no sweat. But this was the kind of writing that required me to be creative while writing. I could have been a famous fiction writer if I could have preserved all the answer papers I have given in the subject in my school period. The cases I used to create as examples while answering questions on morals and ethics. It was creative writing in extreme.

So long now…..need to get back to work. More creative writing call me as I create my KRAs, Next years business plans and projections.

The Origin

Give me a chance and I would probably associate myself with any animal or bird on this Earth. I am yet to find any spicy that i find repulsive. There are strengths in all and beauty in all.

Why did i choose this name for my blog - read the text below and you would probably know a bit about me.

"SUN-BIRD, a name more or less in use for many years,' and now generally accepted as that of a group of species of small birds, but when or by whom it was first applied is uncertain. They inhabit the Ethiopian, Indian, and Australian regions, and, with some notable exceptions, the species mostly have but a limited range. They are so called by the natives of Asia in allusion to their splendid and shining plumage, but gives no hint as to the nation or language wherein the name originated.

Though part of the plumage in many sun-birds gleams with metallic luster, they owe much of their beauty to feathers which are not lustrous, though almost as vivid,' and the most wonderful combination of the brightest colors - scarlet, purple, blue, green and yellow - is often seen in one and the same bird. Graceful in form and active in motion, sun-birds flit from flower to flower, feeding on small insects which are attracted by the nectar and on the nectar itself; but this is usually done while perched and rarely on the wing as is the habit of humming-birds."

More later............