In Scent of a Women

Here is a conversation that has happened a couple of times between me and my wife, and has let to this blog:

"W: So name a female around you that you fine attractive, and why?"
"Me: Is this a trick question?"
"W: No of course not. Just a genuine question"
"Me: Office? On-route or neighborhood?"
"W: Anywhere"
"Me: Then it’s easy. U!"
"W: Dog! Give me a name other than me."

Now here is a real problem situation. Husbands know why..... but then I seriously thought about this and came up with black. Seeing this blank look on my face, she said

“W: whats the matter? Come up with one name.”
“Me: Cant think of one.”
“W: Ok name one Bollywood heroine whom you find physically attractive”
“Me: (After a long time) Still cant think of one. Even in ragging, this question came quiet often but then I named Raveena Tondon and maintained this for full 2 years, though I didn’t really like her. Sonali bandre had better looking legs but that’s it. None in this era”
“W: Are you Gay or something”
“Me: Of course not. I am just choosy or have quite high standards. Ok u name one”
W: Kareena. She has such a nice body. I wish I have the same.”
“Me: Not my first choice…..but what I meant was the best looking Guy”
“W: Hritik….who else? See its so easy, so I think that you are gay”

Now I am pretty sure that I am not gay. But honest to god I couldn’t come up with a name. Not Indian that is.

“Me: OK Ok…look I don’t know the name but this lead actress in the Movie – The last Samurai”
“W: Chinkys are not allowed. They always look so good and have unmatched body”
“Me: That’s not why I like this female….but to humor you…..ok here is another name….the lead vampire in the movie – Underworld”
“W: Goori mems are not allowed. Koi desi nahi hai kya.”
“Me: nahi....... I mean not as per my standards.”
“W: Mere se shaadi kyon ki…. Koi goori le aate”
“Me: Hey with you it was complete package....... and it is great.”

But seriously, the other day we had the winners of Famina miss India (All three) at our office. Now they are supposed to be the creamy layer but one look at them and you seriously wonder why they are there. All three were tall and reached my eye level (Which is tall by Indian standards) but beautiful, desirable, even good looking……..a thousand times NO.

Beauty is a package, even physical beauty is made up of not only your body but also skin quality and color, hair quality, body proportions, movements everything. Perfection for me will be in the manner these different aspects come together in a person and create a whole. That is what I mean by a package.

Once I went to a very hi-fi disc. Wherever you look, you had show of skin and clothes. I went around to get a couple of drinks and it was a good thing that I marked my groups spot by the pillars and furniture rather than girls. They all looked so same. Same black and white combo, same make up style, same straightened hair, same dance moves. If I were in a lineup with 10 such beauties that I would not have been able to point out to the culprit…..they were alike.

Today girls go for what is popular, what is the ‘in thing’: drumstick thinness, straight hair, hair color, streaks, short top, low waist jeans, tattoo….. the list is too huge. At the end what you are left is a assembly product. “Customer can have car in any color as long as its black” was a famous statement.

My office is probably 50% female, and at the end of day if you ask me to remember even one female, I would probable stand scratching my head. I miss that variety……. Commercialization has killed it all, and I am friend and in love those who have remained untouched by it.

Writer's Block

I am suffering from Writer’s block. I always used to think that writer’s block is when a writer doesn’t have an idea on what to write. In my case, its more like, what all to write. Whenever I open the site and start writing, so many thoughts and threads emerge that I have no clue which to pick. Being meticulous, I start thinking on the structure of the blog and find out that all the threads are so interlinked that its difficult to structure it and concentrate on just one line of though.

This made me think of my varied experiences w.r.t writing, be it letters, exams, application forms, creative writing etc. Some of them are below:

Case 1: Letter writing
I have a good friend with whom I am not in touch with him for nearly 2 years now but that friendship, or the feeling of it is still there. He was with me in Kanpur and introduced me to antiquate of drinking, singing, holding a party and writing. One day he asked me to post for him a bulky envelope that required postage stamps of Rs 20/-. I asked him what it was….probably some legal documents. It was his weekly letter to his father.

“Me: WEEKLY LETTER !! what the hell you have written?”
“P: O! Nothing great….just how was my time at the job, at hostel, with you guys etc”
“Me: How many pages?”
“P: 23 in all, A4 both sides”
“Me: Shit!!”

I later learned that his father considered P as a serious disappointment when it came to writing. “ he thinks that I don’t write enough….don’t know how to express my experiences in words” P later told me.

I later had a chance to go through one of his father’s letter….. only partly. It was describing his recent journey to some tour in the interior part of the state. The letter started with how his morning was on the day of travel, what was his mode of transport, what were his feeling for the rick driver that delivered him to station, his conversations, and his reflection on the same, with his fellow unknown travelers in the train …….. and on and on. That 2 day journey covered some 40+ pages. And it was not just description of incidents, it contained quotes, reference of articles, philosophy…..everything.

Now that’s one way of writing. Good in a way that a person is aware of his thought process and is also able to pen down the same at the end of two days. Bad in the form that it does not allow or restricts, the reader to form his own opinions or reflect on it. There is little scope left for imagination of reader or interpretation.

Case 2: Exam writing.

All of you have gone through the same. How to handle writing in exams was most hilariously handled by my friend M.
Now M is a multi-talented person. His idea of going to an exam was always to carry a chit with him (for cheating purpose). His talent was of writing on a chit, of size 1sq inch, complete answers of at least 5 questions. The answers to each question, when expanded to a normal answering sheet, could be expanded to 15 sheets. Moreover, the chit was folded in such a way that he could cover it under his first tow fingers and both sides of the paper could be flipped without lifting the fingers. In school, he could carry a 500 word essay written on his eraser.

I remember an incident in which we got a very tough paper in 3rd year. This guy got the highest marks in the paper. When we inquired on how he managed to attain this feat, his reply was

“ M: How is the paper evaluation done. Do you know that?”
“ We: Ya! The number of sheets that you fill, one supplementary sheet addition is a must”
“M: Rt. In this paper I added 4 supp. Sheets”
“We: How did u manage that. It was hard for us even to fill in the main sheet”
“M: Easy. I consistently managed to write just 4 words per line, by drawing a margin line on both sides of the sheet and then expanding each word in length”
“We: But still……how 4 supp. There was not much to write. Not even the text book had this much content”
“M: Ya rt. For example my answer to Q2, despite expansion, was covered in 3 pages. All that I did was, repeated what I had written in those three pages 4 times back to back. Got 19 out of 20 in that question. See how much our evaluators read??”

You cant help but admire this intelligence of exploiting the system and at the same time cry for the system.

Case 3: Creative writing

What is this. Here is an example.

In schools, primarily in missionary schools, you have a subject called ‘Moral Science’. Every student dreads this subject….. Imagine 50 rowdy boys sitting in a class trying to learn morals. And to top it up, you have to give an exam on the same. And there were actually books on the subject. Phew!!

So, here we are about to give an exam on the same (Which you have to pass…else you cant be promoted to the next class….even if you pass in all the other subjects).

Then there was this Bong guy in the class who was all cool about the paper. So we voiced our concerns and he said

“B: Chill man….whats to worry about. Its no big deal”
“Me: No big deal. You know the stakes.”
“B: Ya! Don’t worry. You know how you can pass on this paper?”
“Me: How?”
“B: Simple. When you answer the paper. Write everything that you would not be doing ever in your life. That is Moral Science”

WORDS OF WISDOM. So precisely and concisely explained. This is what I like about some people. Clarity of thought.

Needless to say, I always passed with no sweat. But this was the kind of writing that required me to be creative while writing. I could have been a famous fiction writer if I could have preserved all the answer papers I have given in the subject in my school period. The cases I used to create as examples while answering questions on morals and ethics. It was creative writing in extreme.

So long now…..need to get back to work. More creative writing call me as I create my KRAs, Next years business plans and projections.

The Origin

Give me a chance and I would probably associate myself with any animal or bird on this Earth. I am yet to find any spicy that i find repulsive. There are strengths in all and beauty in all.

Why did i choose this name for my blog - read the text below and you would probably know a bit about me.

"SUN-BIRD, a name more or less in use for many years,' and now generally accepted as that of a group of species of small birds, but when or by whom it was first applied is uncertain. They inhabit the Ethiopian, Indian, and Australian regions, and, with some notable exceptions, the species mostly have but a limited range. They are so called by the natives of Asia in allusion to their splendid and shining plumage, but gives no hint as to the nation or language wherein the name originated.

Though part of the plumage in many sun-birds gleams with metallic luster, they owe much of their beauty to feathers which are not lustrous, though almost as vivid,' and the most wonderful combination of the brightest colors - scarlet, purple, blue, green and yellow - is often seen in one and the same bird. Graceful in form and active in motion, sun-birds flit from flower to flower, feeding on small insects which are attracted by the nectar and on the nectar itself; but this is usually done while perched and rarely on the wing as is the habit of humming-birds."

More later............